I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
