Best friends brother. Beat that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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