Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
All the doctor said was why
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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