pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
