tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
