you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize