this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
