Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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