My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Terrible idea I love it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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