College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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