I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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