Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My vagina is very pro this idea
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
