She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
