Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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