just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
