I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Even my vagina gasped.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
