It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
