Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
