I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
