I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
A+ Viking dick
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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