sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
