dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
