try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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