We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
