why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my being single is dangerous.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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