She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
