Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
