I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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