Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
