you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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