He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
