my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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