Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
