Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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