i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
