Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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