you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
