i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
