Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
