she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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