i just sent this text using only my big toe
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
