You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
