Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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