if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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