I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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