you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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