I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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