I'm jealous of your bromance
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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