all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
