She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
How's work?
Spinning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
