i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
